Emerging Whole: The Path from Struggle to Strength
Hi, I’m Shoshana.
If I listened to that persistent little voice in my head that says I’m not good enough, I wouldn’t be writing this, and you’d be off reading about sourdough or skincare instead.
That voice still tries to talk me out of showing up. It whispers:
“There are so many blogs out there. Nobody will read yours. Your idea isn’t unique. It won’t be successful. Nobody will care. You might as well not even try.”
You know the voice, right?
The one that makes us choose smaller versions of ourselves before we’ve even start. The one that convinces us not to reach, not to risk, not to dream.
But today, I’m choosing to write anyway…not because I’m certain of myself, but because I’m tired of letting fear make my decisions.
So here I am, trying. Awkwardly. Honestly. Hopefully.
Trying to build the kind of community I’ve always dreamed of feeling like I belonged to. Trying to create a space where vulnerability becomes connection — a tiny pocket of the internet, a little sliver of the world, that helps anyone who finds us feel less alone in their inherent suffering..
You might be wondering: Who is this woman? And why does she have something to say?
First, it’s truly a pleasure to meet you. I’m so glad our paths have crossed — and thank you for being here.
I’m a daughter, sister, friend, music-lover, avid journaler, mental health advocate, and lifelong seeker of meaning in the messiness of being human. I recently discovered that I live with bipolar disorder — a truth that, once understood, helped me see how it has challenged me, shaped me, and taught me the deep importance of balance.
From as early as I can remember, life’s biggest, most unanswerable questions haunted me. I struggled to live in the moment, perpetually trapped in the past or anxiously forecasting the future. I’d lie awake at night, alone with my thoughts, my mind racing with questions that felt too overwhelming to say aloud:
What happens after we die?
How do we prepare for the inevitable loss of those we love?
Why is there so much suffering in the world? Does it mean there’s no God?
What truly makes people happy?
Why do some people with seemingly perfect lives feel such despair?
Why do others, with so little, exude consistent joy?
What’s my purpose? What if none of it matters?
What's the point of all of this?
How do I let go of the need to make sense of it all?
Anything we couldn’t answer with certainty filled me with sheer panic. I feared the unknown and the uncontrollable.
At the same time, I worked tirelessly to meet what I thought were the expectations of those around me. I neatly tucked away my feelings, presenting a polished version of myself to the world. I seemed happy and successful — but I was quietly, slowly losing myself to the illusion of perfection.
Eventually, the weight of hiding my true self caught up with me.
The strategy of achieving and smiling through the pain faltered, and I was broken open. For a long time, I avoided feeling too deeply, afraid of what might surface.
My darkest moments forced me to confront daily anxiety attacks and profound depression that stripped away everything I thought I knew about myself. I felt like an unsolved mystery, lost in my own mind — hopeless, incapable, and unworthy.
I struggled to articulate my feelings, which made conversations difficult and trapped me in a cycle of isolation and fear.
Amid this turmoil, I grieved the loss of a relationship that once defined me — a source of safety, comfort, and joy that I thought I couldn’t live without. When it ended, I had to rebuild from the ground up, discovering who I was on my own.
In this blog, you’ll find reflections on some of life’s most tender challenges and the lessons that slowly emerged from them. Writing helped me piece myself back together when I barely recognized the person I’d become. I write about societal expectations, belonging, identity, grief, healing, vulnerability, and personal growth.
Though my experiences are uniquely mine, the emotions behind them are universal. I’ve connected with strangers who see the world through entirely different lenses, yet their stories have deeply resonated with mine.
There’s no single path to healing. But maybe you’ll find a moment in this space that speaks to something in you.
This blog is where I plan to blend essays on wellness, poetry, joyful lists, and the kind of passing thoughts that make me wonder, is anyone else thinking this too?
I hope to create a community built on truth-telling, authenticity, and a return to our shared humanity. I also want this to be a space of joy — where we share light, out loud.
Writing has been the most cathartic experience of my life. My journals have been my closest confidants for as long as I can remember. But now, I’d like to find some humans out there who sometimes feel like me.
Because I believe that together, we can transform struggle into strength, isolation into connection, and authenticity into healing.
Together, we can emerge whole.
If something in this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, send me a message, or simply bookmark this space for when you need it. We're just getting started.
Talk to you soon, friend.
— Shoshana (Shosh)
